Whatever it is he wants to fess up about, it can not be as shocking as what I am going to tell you. Except, may be, if he wants to tell you the same thing. That would put an interesting twist on the situation.
I felt sorry for her. For having to hear this. And for me. For having to say this to her. For having to explain everything about myself. Everything that matters.
I walked out of the kitchen and sat on the couch, molesting the remote and changing channels roughly. My fingers tapped as fast as my heart was beating. Deve Gowda swam in channel V, and the malayalee king cobra from 'Tara' swallowed him.
Amma came and sat next to me, all worried about this unprecedentedly formal runup that I had taken over the past week towards swinging something on her unprotected face. She had seen me run, she had seen the effort on me, but she didnt know what it was that I was going to throw.
"You might not like what I am going to tell you-mma, but you need to know it all the same. You need to know that your son is all that you think he is, and more. And I need to know that it is me that you love, and not a linearized approximation of me with all my singularities removed."
She reacted like she was reading from a tele-prompter, her facial expressions changing back and forth with every word that I spoke.
Both of us heard the gate being opened.
It must be Cheenu.
By now, Amma knew what I already knew. Whatever Cheenu was going to tell her couldnt be half as important as what I was telling her. Cheenu walked in and smelt the tension.
"Aren't you watching Sun-TV, ma?" asked Cheenu, and went into the kitchen to pick up his coffee.
Amma was still looking at me.
"I know that you have been upset by some of my actions, and you certainly deserve an explanation" I said.
Cheenu picked up the remote and changed channels. His heart was beating much too slowly.
"Amma, I need to tell you something important" he said. Amma didnt look at him. She was looking at me, reading my eyes, trying to guess what could have taken me a week to tell her.
It took me a lifetime to know this and tell you.
"I am gay", I said.
"I have been smoking for the last seven years," Cheenu said.
Amma got off the couch supporting her weight on my shoulders, walked towards Cheenu, and slapped him.